Credible Rationing
What the hell is on my mind? When my time my Ohio has less than 5 days left, I begin to notice difference in my thoughts. It’s 5am, I have just been thinking about my flaws. By no means, they are not technically against what I stand for, but what I want to stand for.
Flaws are just another puzzle piece of life. You don’t have to compensate for your flaws. Vaguely you look deeper and deeper finding any fail in any idea at all. Meanwhile you break down and find the positive results.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Good thoughts always have a negative one following along, prancing more noticeably, but you mostly ignore them. Call those negative thoughts attention whores. They are horrible and only reek of emotional sadness.
Likewise I have thrown my discarded attention whores into a trashcan in my mind. The trashcan magically grows exponentially while items are added. The staggering height and weight makes it indestructible. But c’mon wouldn’t you want to destroy it?
No I wouldn’t.
Moving to Wyoming for a couple of months, where I have a chance to meet new people, discover the non city life landscapes, and overall just get to relax and focus on what I actually want to do with my life, is no more than a choice.
Is this choice a flaw? Only if I don’t focus on what I want to achieve.
June 1st is my first focus. If I don’t leave by then, it will never get done, because my focus is blindsided. Go damnit go!